Giftedness or Anxiety? When Overachievement Hides Support Needs
There’s a specific kind of worry caregivers carry when a child is doing “well” on paper, but something still doesn’t feel right.
She gets good grades. Teachers say she’s bright. She’s responsible. She’s mature. She’s the one people rely on.
And yet… she cries over homework. She panics about small mistakes. She can’t fall asleep because her mind won’t stop. She’s constantly tense. She’s either overworking or completely shutting down. She’s hard on herself in a way that breaks your heart, because you can tell she’s not just motivated. She’s scared.
This is where the conversation around twice exceptional (2e) Black girls matters. Because sometimes the child really is gifted, and she’s also struggling with anxiety, ADHD, autism traits, learning differences, or another support need that gets missed precisely because she appears to be doing “fine.”
Overachievement can hide a lot. Especially in kids who learned early that being excellent is the safest way to be seen, respected, or left alone.
This guide will help you understand what “2e” can mean, how giftedness and anxiety can overlap, and how to recognize when a high-achieving child needs more support than praise.
What does “twice exceptional” actually mean?
A child is considered twice exceptional (often shortened to 2e) when they are both:
Gifted in one or more areas (like verbal ability, reasoning, creativity, or advanced academic performance)
And also have one or more learning, developmental, or mental health differences that impact functioning
So twice exceptional (2e) Black girls might be:
Brilliant readers who can’t start assignments without melting down
Advanced speakers who struggle with focus and follow-through
High scorers who have intense anxiety and perfectionism
Creative thinkers who are sensory sensitive and socially exhausted
Top students who “forget everything” and lose items constantly
Kids who are praised for maturity but privately overwhelmed
The hardest part is that giftedness can camouflage support needs. And support needs can sometimes camouflage giftedness. The result is a child who is misunderstood in both directions.
Why 2e patterns are often missed in Black girls
A lot of adults recognize giftedness when it looks like easy achievement. And they recognize support needs when they look obvious and disruptive.
But 2e often looks like contradiction.
And with Black girls, there can be extra layers that make adults misread what they’re seeing. Some girls learn to perform competence early. Some learn to be “good” and quiet. Some learn to not ask for help. Some are praised for being strong and responsible in ways that quietly push them toward burnout.
When a child’s identity influences how adults interpret her behavior, the risk is that her struggle gets framed as attitude, drama, or sensitivity instead of a signal that she needs support.
That’s why twice exceptional (2e) Black girls can fall through cracks for years. They don’t fit the stereotype of “gifted kid” or “kid who needs help.” They are both.
Giftedness vs anxiety: how they can look similar
Caregivers often ask, “Is she gifted, or is she anxious?” The truth is, it can be both, and the behaviors can overlap.
Here are some ways anxiety can hide inside high achievement:
Perfectionism that looks like motivation
Some kids aren’t driven by joy. They’re driven by fear of being wrong.
They rewrite the same sentence over and over.
They avoid starting because they can’t do it perfectly.
They panic over grades even when they’re high.
They call themselves stupid after one mistake.
That’s not just “high standards.” That’s distress.
Over-preparing and overworking
A child might study longer than peers, not because she needs more time to learn, but because she can’t tolerate uncertainty. She may feel like she has to be over-prepared to stay safe.
Physical symptoms around performance
Stomachaches, headaches, sleep trouble, crying, irritability, and shutdowns often show up when anxiety is driving achievement.
If you see that, don’t brush it off as “she cares a lot.” Caring should not hurt this much.
Giftedness vs ADHD: the hidden mismatch
Another common question is: “Can she have ADHD if she’s doing well in school?” Yes.
Some kids compensate with intelligence. They figure things out quickly, so adults miss the executive function struggle underneath. These children may pass tests but fall apart on long-term projects. They may ace subjects they love and crash in subjects that require sustained attention. They may get praised for brilliance while constantly being criticized for organization, forgetfulness, or procrastination.
This is why twice exceptional (2e) Black girls can look like:
Incredible performance with intense stress behind it
Big ideas with difficulty executing
High potential with inconsistent output
Strong verbal ability with poor working memory in daily life
Creativity with struggles in routine tasks
If your child seems capable but chronically overwhelmed, it’s worth looking deeper than effort.
Signs overachievement may be masking support needs
Here are patterns that often show up when a child is “doing well” but not actually okay.
She is exhausted by school
She holds it together all day and crashes at home. She’s irritable, withdrawn, or emotionally reactive. She needs long recovery time after social and academic demands.
She avoids tasks unless she can do them perfectly
Avoidance isn’t laziness. It’s often fear. A child may procrastinate, not because she doesn’t care, but because starting means risking imperfection.
She has intense emotional reactions to feedback
Even gentle correction can feel crushing. She may cry, shut down, or spiral into self-criticism.
She struggles with transitions and time management
She might be advanced in reasoning but struggle with the practical steps: getting started, organizing materials, estimating time, and switching tasks.
She lives with “imposter syndrome” early
Some kids feel like they’re fooling everyone. They worry that one mistake will expose them. They may constantly seek reassurance, or they may hide their struggles completely.
When you see these patterns repeatedly, it may be time to consider whether your child fits a 2e profile.
Why clarity matters (even when grades are good)
Some caregivers hesitate because the child isn’t failing. But the goal is not to wait for failure. The goal is to prevent unnecessary suffering.
A child can be high-achieving and still:
Hate school
Feel constantly anxious
Lose confidence
Develop depression
Burn out
Start avoiding challenges
Develop unhealthy perfectionism
Associate love and worth with performance
A twice exceptional (2e) Black girls conversation is really a mental health conversation too. Because what happens internally matters just as much as report cards.
When to consider an evaluation
If you’re seeing a persistent pattern of distress, overwhelm, or contradiction, an assessment can help.
Consider exploring an evaluation if:
Your child’s achievement comes with intense anxiety or emotional distress
She is gifted in some areas and significantly struggling in others
Teachers say she’s brilliant but “inconsistent,” “disorganized,” or “daydreamy”
She melts down over homework or cannot start tasks without support
She overworks and still feels behind
She masks all day and crashes at home
She struggles socially despite strong intelligence
She has sensory sensitivity, rigidity, or social exhaustion
She is extremely hard on herself and fears mistakes
A thoughtful evaluation can help clarify whether the struggle is anxiety, ADHD, autism traits, learning differences, gifted burnout, or a combination.
If you want to explore next steps through Psychology for Black Girls, you can start at Accessible Evaluations and follow the process that fits your situation.
What a 2e-focused assessment can reveal
A strong evaluation doesn’t just answer “does she have ADHD?” or “is she anxious?” It helps map the child’s full profile.
It can identify:
Cognitive strengths (verbal reasoning, pattern recognition, creativity, problem-solving)
Executive function challenges (initiation, planning, working memory, sustained attention)
Learning differences that affect output (writing, math processing, reading fluency)
Autism traits such as sensory sensitivity, masking fatigue, and rigidity
Anxiety patterns, perfectionism, and stress responses
Emotional intensity and regulation needs
Recommended accommodations and support strategies
This is where parents often feel relief. The story shifts from “she’s doing too much” to “her brain needs different support.”
Support that helps 2e kids thrive without breaking themselves
Once you have clarity, the best support usually includes both practical tools and emotional support.
Reduce pressure without lowering belief
A 2e child still needs challenge and growth. But she also needs breathing room. The goal is healthy challenge, not constant stress.
Teach skills, not shame
If executive function is a challenge, teach planning and task breakdown explicitly. Don’t assume she should “just know” how to organize herself because she’s smart.
Normalize mistakes
Perfectionism often softens when caregivers model that mistakes are safe. Praise effort, strategy, and resilience, not only outcomes.
Advocate for accommodations
Even gifted children may need supports like extra time, reduced busywork, flexible demonstration of knowledge, sensory breaks, or structured organization tools.
Support emotional regulation
Some kids benefit from therapy approaches that build coping skills, reduce self-criticism, and create emotional safety. Therapy is not only for crisis. Therapy can be preventive support for intense, high-achieving kids.
When psychiatry support may be part of the plan
If anxiety is severe, sleep is disrupted, or distress is significantly affecting daily functioning, some families explore medication support as part of a broader care plan.
This is not about “quick fixes.” It’s about giving the nervous system enough stability to learn skills and recover from chronic stress.
If you want to understand what that pathway can look like in a culturally competent context, you can explore Psychiatry Support.
A reminder for caregivers: your child doesn’t need to earn support
One of the most damaging messages 2e kids internalize is: “I only deserve help when I’m failing.”
That’s not true.
Your child deserves support because she’s a child. Because she’s human. Because her wellbeing matters, not just her performance.
And you deserve support as a caregiver too, especially when you’re navigating school systems, conflicting opinions, and a child who looks “fine” to others while struggling privately.
Sometimes it helps to carry a visible reminder that your values are bigger than productivity. If you want something that reflects community, strength, and mental wellness, you can browse the Psychology for Black Girls Shop and choose a piece that feels aligned with the message you’re living right now.
Closing: high achievement should not cost her peace
Giftedness is a beautiful strength, but it should never be a cover that hides pain.
If you suspect twice exceptional (2e) Black girls patterns in your child, trust what you’re seeing. Look beyond grades. Notice the emotional cost. Notice the exhaustion. Notice the perfectionism. Notice the fear.
Clarity can change everything. Support can protect confidence. And your child can thrive without burning herself out trying to prove she deserves care.